What does it mean to be a good mother? I come home after work and hug my children, feed them, bathe them… does watching the Olympics together count? Does TV ever count? Should we play games? We built a snowman with a neighbor today… does that count? I hated being a stay at home mother, but at least I didn’t feel quilty – just unhappy.
February 24, 2006
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Hi Kizzy,
(Short silence)
I read that a guy with a very funny moustache once said that writing is the absent’s language, and I like that idea. I dont even know who or where you are, but I have just happened to be here, in front of you.
Yes, I have decided to appear although now I need to figure out what for.
Ehmmm… Ok.
I guess that those questions are pointing somehow to something abstract I am dealing with lately. I am expecting my first child to arrive into the world next February, and I am realizing how many ideas that I don’t really approve or agree with (or have any idea of) were attached to my brain.
This whole idea of the family, of the good mother and the good father really scares me.
I think it is all a very smart invention to keep us longing for something we dont even know what it is (is good parents’ score really kept anywhere?) and working unnecessarily long days in order to give our children “the best”, since that’s what good parents do and everyone knows it.
Bad parents, on the other hand, go, without passing through the Judgemtn Day, directly to Hell. Everyone knows that also.
I don’t know… maybe it all comes from the fact that my own parents sacrifice so much for me and my brothers that I can’t avoid feeling guilty and sorry for them. I would have prefered that they didnt cease to be the persons they were just to become that abstract entity (meaning “my parents”) with who I use to lived all those years.
I think that “a father” or “a mother” are just blank inventions. They dont mean anything concrete. Our children are no more than persons that happen to come to the world just where you happened to be. You are just the first person they get in contact with (and probaly the first also with who they will get their complexes and traumas!), but nothing else.
I am afraid of loosing my child before it is born, not being able to get to know him after wards, by becoming already “a father”.
Uhmmm… yeah, it was something like that.
Thank you for giving me a space to reflect about it!
Comment by toxina — November 1, 2006 @ 12:21 pm
[...] I think it is all a very smart invention to keep us longing for something we don’t even know what it is (as kitty wonders here is good parents’ score really kept anywhere?) and working unnecessarily long days in order to give our children “the best”, since that’s what good parents do and everyone knows it. [...]
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